


is it really so strange

by mostlikelydefinentlymad



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Episode: s02e04 Day of Wrath, I have not read the books, M/M, Made For Each Other, Missing Scene, not a sequel, spicy vampire kisses, spoiler: they certainly weren't fighting, what were they up to after they left magnus' place
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-09-19 20:14:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9458765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mostlikelydefinentlymad/pseuds/mostlikelydefinentlymad
Summary: When Simon died-When he'd cradled his lifeless body, palm splayed over a motionless chest-When he'd beat himself up for Camille taking Simon's life-When Raphael had stepped out of that grave, shoulders slumped-It hurt.Like he hadn't felt in decades.





	

_You can kick me_  
_And you can punch me_  
_And you can break my face_  
_But you won't change the way I feel_  
_'Cause I love you_  
_Oh..._  
_And is it really so strange?_

([x](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjSyCpygSNg))

* * *

 

“So they really got you bad, huh?”

Raphael self consciously touched the tender wounds where the UV laser had burned flesh and hair. He hated everything they represented and the mottled past Aldertree unearthed. He wasn’t that person any more and every act back then had been under duress. Had he not behaved, Camille would’ve tortured him until he begged for mercy. And then, disgusted at him for showing weakness, she would’ve gleefully locked him away in some nameless soulless prison. However, he wasn’t going to give Aldertree the pleasure of knowing any of it.

“You can stop staring now,” he snapped.

Simon, high on using his voice for once, refused. In fact, he went so far as to stop walking altogether. Guilt was written in every crevice as well as something Raphael tried hard not to notice.

Snagging his arm to move it away, Simon's eyes darted over the angry red lines. “It’s not…It’s really not that bad,” he admitted.

Eyebrows furrowed in irritation, Raphael glared. He hated how easy it was for Simon to hurt him. He didn’t even have to use his hands or teeth, though he had the uncanny knack for spitting out scathing biting words. Hated it even more when he did a complete 360. “You said I look like crap.”

Cautiously, Simon grazed the area with his fingertips.

They shouldn’t be stationary right now, not when Magnus needs their help in locating Camille, but Raphael can't bring himself to move. Their spat earlier was still fresh and new, just as painful as his injuries but Simon was being gentle, apologetic. 

“I meant _these_. Not that they look like crap or you look like crap, you look good. Handsome, alive. Well, I say alive but you know…not like a heart beating. You have one, obviously, and it’s-it’s…I’m going to stop talking now.”

Raphael tried to remain serious, stone faced, but somehow managed to lose the battle. He cracked a grin, the slightest edge of teeth exposed.

“You know you said that out loud, right?”

The rush of compliments thrilled him and he could almost pretend that they’d never hurt one another. Never turned their backs or, in Simon’s case, chose someone else.

They could pretend, just the once. 

He clasped Simon’s hand, planning to cease his curious touching, but faltered at the expression on his face. Whiskey brown eyes had warmed; more open than they had been in weeks. 

“Yeah,” Simon replied. 

He curled his fingers around Raphael’s as they had at Magnus’ place. Raphael had a way of covering an entire hand with one of his as if he were starved for contact, skin to skin. It was sweet or at least that's what Simon's mother would say; oblivious to their history. Their hands dropped, still holding on as if this were normal for them. A little voice in Simon's head,  _hope,_ whispered  _It could be._

 

“If you hadn’t found that box we’d still be one step behind Camille,” Raphael stated, interrupting the moment. It was the closest to an apology Simon was going to get.

Simon ducked his head, staring at the earthy ground under his feet. He shrugged. “I can’t take credit for it. Magnus was antique roadshow-ing and thought it might have diamonds in it.”

More than half of what came out of Simon’s mouth made no sense but Raphael listened any way, even to colloquialisms he’d never understand. He squeezed Simon’s hand, careful not to overdo it as the laceration across his palm was still knitting together.

“You said you tried to open it. How?”

Simon groaned, eyes skyward. Raphael’s hand was a comforting weight, cool and smooth and that in itself was as good a reason as any, not to ignore the embarrassing question and resume walking. “A hammer.”

Raphael arched an eyebrow, skeptical.

“…screwdriver…kitchen knife…threw it a couple times. Might’ve tried negotiating with it but that didn’t work either.”

Just like it had on that night at the coffee shop, Raphael’s face lit up, somewhere between holding back laughter and a smirk.

Happy looks good on him, Simon thought. How could anyone want to hurt this man? Raphael is flawed, granted, but he's also kind and caring; devoted. He’d die for his family, no doubt about it. Whether that included Simon or not was another matter. 

He shook his head, free hand cupping his forehead in embarrassment. 

“You know you could’ve ruined everything if you’d managed to open it,” Raphael stated. His tone was serious and for a second, Simon was expecting a lecture. Guilt. Instead, the side of his mouth tilted up, teasing.

Simon grinned, “You’re terrible.”

“So I’ve been told,” Raphael replied, head tilting to the side in a partial shrug.

 

The stars were out, bright twinkling lights on a black canvas. Tonight, Simon wasn’t offering himself up to the devil in her red dress and Raphael wasn’t hissing over losing him again. It was the perfect night for flirty banter and letting it all slip away for a bit. Sure, Camille needed to be caught and returned to the Clave and they were under a strict time frame but...

 

“Yeah,” Simon said in lieu of an actual response. His brain was nearly short circuiting at Raphael’s hand in his own in combination with the closeness of him, the smell of his skin. It made him heady, giddy. 

Once, he’d even confided in Luke about his feelings for Raphael. 'There’s this other guy. He’s big, _~~unbelievably~~ _ handsome ( _ ~~should be illegal to be that pretty~~ ), _full of sh- he’s okay. You know what? Forget about it, I’m over it.'   What a truth twisted in a lie. Getting over the man was a dead end, an impossibility. He'd tried to no avail. 

 _He takes up so much space_ , Simon thought. _He could enter a room and capture attention by merely existing. And yet, for all the world he's exceptional at sneaking up behind me. And he chooses to do that; to mess with me because he can, because he wants to._

_Why though?_

 

The sound of fingers snapping brought him back to the present. “Simon?”

He startled, “Hmm?”

“You’re thinking loudly.”

~~And staring at me. You do that a lot.~~

Though it wasn't unpleasant to watch. Simon’s face had been a reflection of tenderness verging on confusion before settling on what vaguely looked like fondness. He’d hardly blinked, eyes glued to Raphael’s, the grip on his hand growing stronger. It was moments like this that Raphael missed Simon’s heartbeat. He’d heard it, followed it, felt it race at his touch many times. It was knowing without a doubt, what effect he had on Simon. But now? He could only assume. Read his body language, _listen_ and try not to bleed when the words hurt.

“Oh. Um, we should get back to Magnus. He’s expecting us, hates when people are late and all that,” Simon stammered.

“We haven’t made it to Catarina's place yet.” 

Simon’s mouth formed a perfect O, realizing his blunder. “Right.” 

 

In the distance the cityscape played its melody: cars humming along the roadway, people chattering, the wind blowing, forest mixing with civilization. 

"Simon."

"What?" Tiny sliver of hope in his voice.

Raphael met his eyes, stepping forward until their chests were brushing. 

"D-Do you need something?" G-d Simon hated it when his awkwardness got in the way. Standing in front of him was a man who would fit right in on the cover of GQ magazine and he was falling over himself, tripping on his words. Vampires are supposed to be smooth. 

"As a matter of fact, I do." 

Simon swallowed, hard. The tension between them had came to blows at Magnus' place, resulting in hissing and seething anger. It was a constant that existed long before Simon died- a tug between them and it wasn't always welcomed. Mostly, it twisted into something ugly. After the betrayal, sneaking around and general mess of the past few weeks, it shouldn't be anything like _this_. 

Electric - 

Raphael released his hand and Simon's body noted the absence with a dull pang deep in his chest. 

His thumb tenderly traced the curve of Simon's bottom lip, eyes pinning him in place. He didn't need to hear the steady thump of a heartbeat to tell him what effect he was having on the fledgling.

 _My  _ _fledgling._   _I'll look after you._

He'd hungered for this even as Simon was a clumsy, awkward mundane though the accords forbade human/vampire relationships. Despite knowing it was impossible, Raphael had protected Simon and put his own life on the line more than once.

When Simon died-

When he'd cradled his lifeless body, palm splayed over a motionless chest-

When he'd beat himself up for Camille taking Simon's life-

When Raphael had stepped out of that grave, shoulders slumped-

_It hurt._

Like he hadn't felt in decades. 

 

But now, Simon is okay. He's learning the ropes, holding his own (though he could work on that anger problem).   _They_   would be okay. Now, the playing field is an even score, his for the taking. 

With a gentle tug, Simon's lips parted. Raphael wrapped an arm around his lower back, urging him to come closer. If breathing were necessary, Simon would've passed out by now from holding it. 

"Relax," Raphael murmured. 

Simon blinked, becoming more animated and less stiff. He flattened a hand on Raphael's chest, not to stop him but to have somewhat of an anchor. 

The hand touching Simon's mouth slid around to the nape of his neck and dragged it down to make up for the height difference. Simon latched onto Raphael's lapels and sealed their lips together. He kissed with fervor; tongue gliding along the seam of Raphael's lips, making a desperate sound when it was met with no resistance. And he all but melted when Raphael traced a fang with the tip of his tongue - _That_ he'd dreamed up when Elaine Lewis made a comment about how cold and pale Simon was. Instantly he'd ran his tongue over his own fangs, thoughts immediately going to Simon's.

Simon, whose hands were restless- cradling Raphael's head in his palms, skimming along his sides, eventually stilling at his hips. 

 

And-

_Ding._

Simon's phone pinged, a text. He stumbled back as if he'd been burned, lips red and slick. 

"Wait. I need...let me catch my breath."

He refrained from reminding Simon that one perk of being a vampire was _not_ having to break for air. 

Simon held up his phone, screen glowing. 

'You're welcome,' it read. 

Sender: Magnus Bane 

"How did he? ...y'know what? Don't answer that. Weird magical potions in tiny bottles...locks of vampire hair...and now he's spying like some kind of creepy wizard," Simon mumbled. He put it on vibrate and placed it in his back pocket. 

Raphael raised his eyebrows, impressed. Magnus Bane. You could spend half a lifetime with the man and still get caught off guard by his meddling. He should've expected as much. 

"So...that was..." Simon trailed off. He bit his bottom lip, tasting. 

"You liked it," Raphael said; a statement and question. 

Simon's gaze flickered to his lips and back up.  "The, uh, the fang thing. That was-" He ran his fingers through his hair, messing it up. 

Raphael smirked, dark eyes glimmering. Reveling in the fact that _he_ got Simon all worked up. Not Clary. Not Isabelle. Not Camille. Given the chance he'd greatly like to do it again, each kiss better than the last. 

Simon takes his time, gradually coming to stand in front of him again. "You could maybe try again if-" 

He leans in. 

* * *

 

/NEW TEXT MESSAGE/

 **Sender** : Magnus Bane

 **Receiver** : Alexander ❤

Sent 10:15pm: Apologies, darling. Trouble in paradise, lovers spat. 

Received 10:16pm: who?

Sent 10:18pm: Raphael and Simon. You know how dramatic vampires can be. 

Received 10:19pm: they're...?

Sent 10:21pm: They're _something_ now ;) 

Received 10:22pm: but did you take care of Camille?

Sent: 10:24pm: I'm two steps ahead of you. 

Received 10:25pm: when you're finished matchmaking and capturing rogue vampires, I'd like to take you up on that date

Sent 10:27pm: Give me ten minutes. 

**Author's Note:**

> sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm working on the sequel to "how soon is now" and I'm 98% finished but I wanted to give simon and raphael a scene for the trip to catarina's. unfortunately, simon has to leave because clary is hurting and needs him but yeah, this happened and you can't tell me any different. 
> 
> I'm telling you, all that passion simon and raphael have built up -- it has to come out somehow and they've already attacked one another so that leaves one more feasible outlet. bring on the ~steamy kisses~ 
> 
> also, um, the fang thing? completely legit scene.


End file.
